Sunday, November 21, 2010

Our First Week at Home

Jackson was discharged from the hospital on 11/13. He was none to pleased on the drive home and we had so much stuff, I couldn't sit in the back seat with him. :( I feel I've been robbed of one of the rites of motherhood!! Oh well, I'll just have to make sure I'm back there for the next one. He cried most of the way home but it really was cute...does that make me a bad mom to say that!! It's amazing how much the house changed in the short time we were away. Now there is a new life to take care of. He is so tiny and helpless. I love him so much. y Aunt Susie said it best...having a baby is like someone took out your heart, flipped it over, turned it upside down and put it back in. My heart definitely feels that way.
Nursing didn't start off great for me. My take is that Jackson chewed on his arm while he was in my belly (as seem in our 3d/4d ultrasound) rather than his thumb or fingers so he didn't really learn how to suck. Plus, he might be a little tongue-tied, but not so bad that anything needed to be done about it.  So, needless to say, he wasn't latching on very well. It hurt so bad, worse than labor maybe?!?! So for the first 5 days I pumped and Chris has been giving him a bottle. No formula needed so far so I can't complain too much.

We are also fighting Jaundice so it's really important he gets a lot of milk going through him. We were in the hospital for 3 1/2 days because he had to be under the Bili-lights. It was one of the saddest things I've had to go through. I know he wasn't in any pain, but he's so tiny and I hated not being able to hold him. I only got to cuddle with him for 30 minutes every 2 hours. And his sweet newborn smell which I loved so much gave way to the distinct smell of a tanning bed. Not what you want your baby to smell like. He was under the lights all day Friday. We had to make sure his goggles didn't slip off since the lights can cause blindness so it was extra scary. When his numbers didn't come back low enough, they made him go another 12 hours under the lights. Thankfully the numbers weren't too bad Saturday morning they were comfortable letting us go on home.
Monday we had our first appointment with the pediatrician. Unfortunately he was out sick but we went anyway to see the PA. We got his weight and she did a mini physical and sent us to get Jackson's blood drawn to check his Bilirubin level. Later that afternoon we called and they said the level hadn't gone down so they would need to see him again the next day for another weight and level check. We fed him as much as we could and went in Tuesday. He had gained 10 grams and the PA told us he needed to gain 3-4 ounces per day so I went into panic mode and pretty much balled my eyes out right there in the office. She said if the levels didn't go down then we would need to supplement with formula because he wasn't gaining enough weight. I was emotional enough as it was and still in recovery from labor so I was in no shape to deal with everything. We went to the lab and Chris held Jackson as he had the day before and the same tech took his blood. This poor baby's heels had been pricked so many times. I couldn't stand his crying so I cried too. I can't imaging having a baby in the NICU or a child in the hospital with a disease. My baby was only getting his blood drawn and I couldn't take it. Luckily his level stayed about the same so thankfully no formula was required. They still wanted to see us the next day for another weight check. This time we got to see our pediatrician rather than the PA. He made me feel much better when he said the baby needed to gain 3-4 ounces per WEEK, not per day!!! Geez!! He thought Jackson looked great and said to keep feeding him as much as we could and the Jaundice would eventually go away for good. So finally we were able to rest easy for the rest of the week

Nursing finally got better but still hurt a little...it's hard so I hope we both get the hang if it soon. Jackson certainly likes to keep me awake at night. He's up about every 2 to 3 hours to eat. I'm truly exhausted. Since Chris is going back to work, I told him I would take care of the baby during the night but I'm starting to think that was a big mistake!! Oh how I wish I could just get 4 hours of sleep in a row!! I know our sleeping habits will get better over time...and I'm so looking forward to that day!! Our first week was exciting, stressful, beautiful, tiring, wonderful, fast.  How can he already be 10 days old? I can't come close to being able to explain my love for this sweet little boy who's no doubt stolen my heart from right under me. I'm so excited I get to raise this little boy and I can't wait to see what's in store for his future.

*Milestone : Jackson's umbilical cord fell off on 11/21/10*













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